A reader named Irene sent me the following story and asked a question that I think is pertinent to people (regardless of age) who have seen ghosts. Spirit visitations similar to this one occur quite frequently at the time of death.
Irene's older brother Harold had cirrhosis of the liver and was admitted to the hospital five days before Irene's birthday. Harold called Irene complaining about the hospital food and wanted her to bring him some rice and beans.
Later that evening, Irene visited her brother. He somehow managed to surprise her with a piece of cake and a candle. His kind birthday gesture touched her heart but she still had to explain about why she could not bring him the rice and beans he had asked for. When speaking to his nurse, Irene was warned not to bring him anything because his liver wasn't filtering and any food could be toxic to him. The brother and sister spent hours that night giggling and talking about Thanksgiving dinner, which was just a few days away.
On November 27, Irene had a dream in which Harold came to her room dressed in his hospital gown and said, "I just came to say goodbye, Sis." He kissed her hand and left.
When she awoke at six o'clock the next morning her room was freezing cold and smelled like a hospital. Everything felt weird and off key but Irene got up, took a shower, and carried out her normal work routine. That afternoon she called the hospital to see how her brother was doing.
"You need to come in immediately," the nurse said.
When Irene arrived at the hospital, she was told that her brother was dead.
"How come no one called me?" she asked.
"We called at about 6:15 this morning," said the nurse. The phone must have ringed while Irene was in the shower. She didn't have an answering machine.
"What time did he die?' she asked.
"He went into a coma at about 5:45 this morning and his heart stopped. We tried to resuscitate him but we couldn't bring him back."
Irene was puzzled as to why and how her brother's spirit was able to come to her house before the angels took him to heaven. Did they allow pit stops?
To answer Irene' question, I must first of all note that this is a Christian family. Modern-day Christianity's interpretation of the Bible causes people to believe some things that do not align with what we now know regarding the afterlife. In an age when life support and life-prolonging measures are available, people are known to have died and then be brought back to the body. We call these events near-death experiences (NDE). Since there is no literal place known as heaven or hell (other than what we create in our minds), some souls do not know what to do once they leave their body. It seems that our beliefs are taken with us into the afterlife. Those who expect to see Jesus or to reunite with loved ones on the other side tend to have those occurrences during an NDE.
Upon death of the body, some souls seem to depart and are never heard from again. Some seek familiarity and choose to hang around their loved ones. In my counseling I've heard many people tell me they have felt, heard, or seen their loved ones ghosts near the time of death, during the funeral, and for several days or weeks afterward. It has become more common for people to hear from the deceased loved one than not to hear. Once the soul acclimates to being bodiless, it may move on to other realms. However, some stay around indefinitely. We call them earth-bound ghosts or disembodied spirits. This doesn't seem to be the case with Irene's brother. He knew he was leaving and seemed ready to venture on to new activities in the afterlife.
I liken this post-life condition to the adjustment period that a newborn baby goes through as it gradually becomes aware of its new surroundings. There may be some lingering in the spirit realm when a soul is entering a new body; and vice-versa as the soul leaves the dying body. The departing soul may hover while the body remains in a comatose state. Those who recover from comas or near-death experiences many times report having traveled to other parts of the hospital (or beyond) or into spiritual dimensions as if in exploration.
Another woman shared a story with me in which her beloved uncle's spirit came to her while his body was in coma. She had agreed to play and sing at his funeral so he dropped by to give her a list of the songs that he wanted featured. After the funeral her aunt told her that the songs she played as the prelude were her uncle's favorites.
Hospice workers have noted a common occurrence while tending to the terminally ill. Patients report seeing or talking to deceased relatives, hearing angels, seeing a great light, or visiting other realms. Hospice terms this the "beginning of transition" and use this as a marker in estimating how near the end may be for the patient.
Having a loved one's spirit visit a family member just before, at the time of, or just after death is a very common occurrence and truly a blessing to those who are open to this phenomena such as in this case where Harold loving said goodbye to his dear sister. Irene found it comforting to know that her brother cared enough to come by and tell her goodbye. The fact that he didn't return again later may indicate that he felt Irene was able to handle her brother's departure, or that he visits in her dream state and she doesn't consciously remember it. Or, he may be giving Irene signs that she's not recognizing. Most don't rattle dishes in the cabinet or move things around. They leave subtle signs as reminders of their love and presence.
Spirits communicate with us through all senses and they give us signs such as leaving an object in your path about which you might say, "Oh, my aunt loved [name the item]." Or you may smell something that no one else around you smells but you recognize as your grandfather's cologne. The fact that you are being reminded of him is a good indication that he is popping in to check on you. You may want to read Denise Linn's book, the Secret Language of Signs to learn more about the signs God, angels, and loved ones use to communicate with us.
It's good to know we can communicate our love from either side of this earth plane-human to spirit or spirit to human. If you've had an experience such as this one, I would love to hear about it.
About Author
© 2010 by Dr. Caron Goode, the award-winning author of Raising Intuitive Children and the 2010 international best-seller, Kids Who See Ghosts, guide them through their fear. ( http://www.kidswhoseeghosts.com/ ). Dr. Goode is the founder of the Academy for Coaching Parents that trains and certifies professional parenting coaches. Reach Dr. Goode for speaking or training at caron30 @ gmail.com.